Movie Review: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask

Summary: Woody Allen + a few 20 minute movie segments = Weirdness

Rating: 4.5 out of 10

Review: I've seen two Woody Allen movies before this one. I actually liked them quite a bit. I didn't think I would. But, this was different. The segments were not that funny. They were definitely not clever. And the last segment was just disturbing. All in all, not my cup of tea.

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Summary: More Jack Sparrow. That's probably the only reason this movie was made. Jack ... and lots of sword fighting.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10

Review: Sword fighting. How many ways can we fit impossible sword fighting into a movie? Watch and find out.

I can handle walking dead people. I can handle a half octopus, half man bad-guy. I can also handle curses and magic. But, when you take two pirates and have them sword fight in completely impossible situations, you lose me. It takes the viewer right out of the moment. Would you like to watch a 20 minute sword fight where one of the pirates was standing on his head? That's almost how bad it was. (Hmm, I bet they put this in the third movie. You just wait and see.)

The plot felt like it was just thrown in at the last moment. The scenarios were contrived and barely fit together. The sword fighting was cheesy. BUT, it was a "fun" movie. So, I didn't give it that bad of marks. Oh, I do hate cliffhangers, though.

Movie Review: The Devil Wears Prada

Summary: Ugly duckling turns into a swan but realizes that she was better off as a swan. Or so one would think. It's actually just about a bitchy boss. A very bitchy boss.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Review: If you are a woman and have heard of a lot of fashion designers , you may like this movie. They name drop so many times that I think they must have been paid by all the big name designers. This movie should have been about the girl being assimilated into the fashion world, but it is not. It's all about Meryl Streep being the bitchy boss. This gets pretty old after the first hour. All in all, it's just a movie about a girl getting yelled at, a lot. Oh, and a hell of a lot of fashion stuff.

Movie Review: The Illusionist

Summary: Half love story, half fanciful magic performances.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10

Review: It's hard not to compare this to The Prestige. This one was not as good. The magic was almost completely CG (computer graphics). There was very little "real" magic. This was disappointing compared to The Prestige, where almost all the tricked were plausible. So, if you can handle the completely faked "illusions" and the constant love struggle, you will probably enjoy The Illusionist. Just don't watch it after watching The Prestige.

Movie Review: The Godfather

Summary: Mobs, guns, and horse heads.

Rating: 7.0 out of 10

Review: Not a bad movie. I don't see the hype. For all the killing, it moved kind of slow. Very good music, though.